Drinking regret

 Drinking regret 

How does it taste?

The loss

The emptiness 

No soothing words

When all has gone to hell in a hand basket

Does it taste gray

Like desperation 

Or beige like 

Chunks of your soul 

Broken off, dying 

Perhaps it is red

Like an angry gaping wound 

Regret

Burning like whiskey 

And you can’t hold your liquor 

Bitter and strong 

Like sleeping alone 

With no heart to warm you 

Does it rise up

In your throat like bile

Undigested jumble 

Of memories and longings 

For soft words, kind smiles 

The patience and trust 

You spilled on the ground 

A careless transaction 

Bought you a cold bed 

Drink deep

Learn to love the taste 

Of a ghost 

You poured this glass 

Yourself 

Resigning from the People-Pleaser Olympics

I hereby submit

My withdrawal

From the People Pleaser Olympics

I don’t recall

Registering

Yet here I am

Want me to jump?

How high?

I’ve bent over backwards

Gone the extra mile

A contortionist running

A biathlon

Just to keep the peace

The rules always change

Erasing a line

I said, “Do not cross”

Until I’m backed up

To the edge of a cliff

Forced into a diving event

I’ve been pulling out

Of this race

Bit by bit

Take me off the team

Tolerating bigotry

Was not on my agenda

There is no peace to keep

With those who devalue

Humans made Imago Dei

I’m also not competing

To be less, to mince words

To see how long I can 

Keep my mouth shut

Before the pressure builds

Disqualifying me, anyway

Integrity matters

It’s 1936 Berlin

I won’t play this game 

Thrive

 My child

More than anything

I want you to thrive

I want you to choose yourself

To rise above the 

Lovers and the losers

Fickle men 

With weak minds 

And weaker hearts

I want you to succeed

To bloom and grow

Until you are so tall

You can look over their

Heads and see past

Past the indecision

Past their self-centered needs 

Push them out of the way

Look into the mirror, and SEE

The fabulous creature

You’ve always been 

Pyrophitic

Pyrophytic

We come from 

Hardy stock

Mystical, invincible

Fire-activated

Standing tall

Like a Lodgepole Pine

The fire that is meant

To burn us down

To turn our dreams to ashes

No

It can’t 

It won’t

The heat of the fire

The smell of the smoke

Open and unleash

The LIFE

The amazing life 

Within us

Serotinous souls

Awakened by trial

Rise above the flames

Rise above, it cannot destroy you

The smoke will clear

Find yourself 

Rooted, green

Stretching upward

To a brand new sky 

Don't go fishing in my pond

Don’t go fishing in my pond

Put away your lures

They hold no charm

Your reel and rod

Are of no use here

That “no trespassing” sign

Should make it clear

This fish won’t bite

Your bait is vile

Pack your tackle

Accept denial

Put away your net

There’s nothing here

You’re hooked on losses

Your bobber’s snagged

Cut your line

You’ve caught…regret

Pandiculation

There’s joy

Where disappointment lived

There’s a smile 

Replacing the frown 

A relaxation

From all the tension

Now that you’re not

Around

There’s space 

There’s breath

The air feels right

Now that I can 

Breathe again 

Stretch

Contract 

Release 

Pandiculation

Dissolving tension 

Awakening 

To liberation 

Where I will thrive 

He can’t swim

The bridge is burnt

And he can’t swim

I claim safety on this side

His charred ground—

That’s his own now

I turn my back on the 

Years left behind

He burnt every bridge 

And as the smoke clears 

His sea of lies

Is too deep to wade

My solid ground

Is too far for him now—

Any trust?

That’s been drowned

I could swim back 

But I won’t

I step away

Heart unbound—

Saved by

The skin of my teeth