Still shining

I was sunshine

I was fire

Now an accidental

Blip 

Across his screen

The rooms I lit

Are now shadow

But only in

His domain

In my own world

I'm still shining

I'm still burning

Spreading light

Wherever I can

He chose to sit

In his darkness

A sad, a lonely man

I'm not weeping

I'm not pining

That blip

Was a technical

Mistake

It reminded me

Of how I am 

FREE

Burning brightly

Far from his

Dank shade 

Out of his league

He said 

I was out of his league

What did a woman like me

See in him? 

I saw potential 

Oh, if we were in high school

A girl like you

Would never notice me

Or speak to me 

No, I spoke to everyone

But he said I was 

Out of his  league

It turns out, yes

Yes, I was

Because I have integrity 

Values 

Intrinsic kindness 

And he is 

A bigot 

A complainer

An Olympic-level liar 

He’d ask me why

Why did I love him?

It was because I saw 

Who he could be 

But he wasn’t 

That man 

And obviously 

Did not plan to be 

I remembered then 

What Maya said 

“When someone tells 

You who they are 

Believe them “

When I saw, really 

Saw who he was 

The duplicity 

Insecurity

The anger, the hate

How people were 

Disposable to him 

Items to be used 

“Get over on them 

Before they get over on you”

He said 

Innocent, this confused me 

I don’t live in a world

With dirty rules 

That breed inconsistency

I show up

That is of value 

I love deeply 

and recognize 

accountability 

Wait… I saw 

Game over 

I took my things

Packed up my heart 

and left him

To his chaos

When it all caught up 

And snared him 

A rat in a trap

Alone 

I was, indeed

Out of his league 

Kismet

 He’s downstairs

Getting the chai ready 

While I brush my teeth 

We quietly flow through 

The routine

With a touch 

and a groggy hug

Here and there 

He grabs the leashes 

The dogs wag and smile

Their way to the door 

I grab the keys 

And we are on our way

To forest therapy

We don’t have to speak

But sometimes do

The deep things of

The universe 

Or the partridgeberries 

And chicory 

Holding hands 

Holding each other’s

Hearts 

Tenderly 

Respectfully 

An easy partnership 

Because we knew

We were out there 

We believed in 

Kismet 

So our souls 

Felt the force 

Of fate that pulled us 

And we knew 

When we saw

The other’s face 

I’ve ruined you

 I’ve ruined you

There is a mark I left 

Which cannot be erased 

And all your comfort  

In your inability to 

See beauty 

To enjoy your 

Distraction 

Will never quite

Be the same

You’ll see a rainbow 

Remembering how I 

Forced you to watch

Until it fades 

Or think of when,  

With you complaining 

I had you find

Where one began

You’ll see a train 

Then have to think 

Of me 

Enjoying being stopped 

Ready to take a picture

To send me 

But you can’t 

Because I’m gone

The tugboats 

And the freighters

That once 

Were commonplace 

Now you want to film them

For the smile 

Upon my face 

The rabbit holes 

We’d dive down 

Because you know 

I  lived to learn 

Every moment something 

Happens 

You want to 

Share with me 

But no…

Every fact and every question

Every mystery 

Screams of how 

I’ve made you

Hungry

For curiosity 

I’ve ruined you

With eyes that wonder 

I’ve ruined you 

From enjoying

Complacency 

I’ve ruined you 

And I’m not sorry 

It’ll be a lesson 

You have learned 

You will never

Be free 

Of the thought

Of me 

A walk in the park

I wrote this song a couple of years ago with my bestie, Mike, doing the music. He shared the music, we talked about the concept, and this is what came out. I thought it was already up here but could not find it. A new friend who writes and I were sharing pieces of our work when it came to mind. 

Walking in the park 

Going my own way

The dogs they bark

The children play

For a moment

Our worlds collide

Then they drift away 

A walk in the park 

On this sunny day

Sometimes my life

Seems so big

But now it’s small

I take a breath 

I’m just a part

Of it all

Our worlds collide

Then they drift away 

A walk in the park 

On a sunny day 

A couple holding hands 

A leaf blows past my face 

Butterflies dance

I drink in this grace 

It’s only happenstance 

To find myself in this place

To be caught in life’s dance 

Come together, pull apart

Round and round 

We are all part

Our worlds collide

Then they drift away

A walk in the park

On a sunny day

Orange light

This August evening

I walk the dogs

in beams of sunset

soft orange light

Safety

Peace

Today I hugged my grandchildren

laughed with my daughter

But half a world away

two children will not laugh

with their parents tonight

nor smile at their brother

Because my country

dropped a two-thousand-pound bomb

on their home

as they slept in their beds

Two orphans left in rubble

Baba and Maman

Dadash

No more

A different orange light brought

murder and despair

twenty-five miles from any target

ordered by a bloodthirsty drunkard

in makeup and gelled hair

playing dress-up as a warrior

desperate to look grand

And people I know

who claim the name of Christ

will call that murdered family

collateral damage

rejoicing in their rapture fever

convinced He is coming

to sweep them away

But I think He will tell them

Get away from me, I never knew you

To the left

Into the fire

Tares to burn

in the harsh orange light

of their own judgment

Plumbing

Poetry for me

Is a plumber

Who arrives 

To clean out the clogs 

Dissolve sticky 

Residues 

Purge matted up

Hairy remnants

Of traumas past

Clear out the pipes

Of unresolved 

Issues 

Flush my drains 

Allowing the 

Clear water 

Of my mind  

To flow 

Singing in the car

Singing in the car

Always made him mad

He’d switch the station

Turn up the volume — 

Those angry asshats 

On WTAM

Always scowling, always hating, 

He’s just road raging 

Shutting down 

My light 

Helpless, helpless 

You don’t realize 

You’re a firefly in a jar— 

Given a few air holes 

Cut off from the world 

Beyond the glass

Now the lid is off 

I’m flying

Singing Springsteen 

And CSN

Singing all the songs 

He hated

Carry on ‘cause 

Love is coming

And it’s a peaceful, easy feeling 

That won’t be wasted on the way

I left that town 

Of losers 

Windows down

Good bye to his 

Whining 

And to Air Supply and 10cc

I’m feeling strong— 

And I’m already gone

Jumping a little lighter 

Dancing in the dark