When it is time to do balance poses in yoga class, there are generally sighs, moans and quiet grumbles heard around the room. Balance is hard - it makes us uncomfortable, it forces awareness of our weaknesses. It is human nature to shy away from highlighting our weaknesses and instead embrace our strengths. However, when we set our intention on challenging our weaknesses, what an incredible elation we feel when we are victorious!
A successful balance posture requires both drishti and breath. In yoga drishti is a focused gaze, it is meant for developing concentrated intention. When teaching a balance posture, I instruct students to "find a drishti" and set their gaze. The idea is to concentrate - to allow your gaze to rest on a focal point - drishti - and relax into the posture. Concentrate and relax - seems like a paradox. To concentrate is to focus mental effort on a particular activity or object; to relax is to rest, to become less rigid to ease. When doing a balance posture, it is important to fix your gaze and allow your breath to become deep and smooth. Balance postures develop a quiet strength; regulating breath helps to maintain focus (while feeding the body with oxygen).
I find it fascinating that the etymology of respiration is "spirit." The Spirit gives us life. Just as we need to breathe in life-giving oxygen; we need to deeply breathe in the breath of God. To inspire is to "fill with the ability to do or feel something." 2 Timothy 3:16 tells us that "All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness."
Jesus is my drishti - day by day it is necessary to remind myself of a verse from Hebrews: "fix your eyes upon Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith..." I need concentrated intention to follow my Lord and yet I also need to relax in His care. The world is constantly bombarding us with distractions that vie for our attention. So often, I'm like Peter walking on that stormy sea towards Jesus and I lose my focus, allowing the wind and the waves to frighten me. Did you notice that when you are most anxious you tend to hold or shorten your breath? In those shaky moments in a balance pose when your body is quivering and sweat is rolling down your brow, finding drishti and regulating your breath are key to overcoming the body's fear and relaxing into the effort. This is true in facing the challenges of life. HE is the author (the creator, the one with the script) and perfector (finisher, completer). We must fix our gaze on Him, breathe deeply of His word, and rest in the knowledge that He who began a good work in us will indeed complete it.
The full verse I quoted from Hebrews states, "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." He endured so very much for our sake. While building strength is part of a yoga balance, in life we don't have to rely on our physical condition - the joy of the Lord is our strength. The trials and tribulations we face are to life what those shaky, weak tremblings in a yoga balance are. We must accept them but know that they are building our trust, strengthening our faith. If you want victory in a balance posture: focus and breathe. If you want victory in overcoming the challenges of sin and to stand firm in the trials of this world: Jesus must be your drishti and the breath you breathe. "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God" Colossians 3:2-3
Be salt and light.
Sunday, December 30, 2018
Sunday, December 23, 2018
Firing up a fine glaze...
Around 4am this morning I woke up for no apparent reason, after tossing a bit, I grabbed my phone. This is usually a bad move because the blue light emitting from the phone suppresses melatonin. But right before bed, a friend and I were having conversation about some deep things of God and life. (I *love* friends like that).
Last night I had also watched a movie about the life of Rich Mullins, Ragamuffin. In it there was a quote from Brennan Manning that hit me hard: "The Lord Jesus is going to ask each of us one question and only one question: Do you believe that I loved you? That I desired you? That I waited for you day after day? That I longed to hear the sound of your voice?" As the dialogue went back and forth, my friend mentioned what she perceives as my optimism and bravery...and its not that at all. I wake up and cry. I shout out, I tremble in fear. I wonder what the heck His plan is and what tomorrow will bring. Through it all: I just believe that He loves. I *know* Whom I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him against that day (2 Tim 1:12) I have to follow. I'm compelled. That furnace maw is gaping and I see the flames rising high inside -- but I see Him telling me "Walk, I'm with you. It will be alright." So I walk. I try to love. I stumble and He picks me up. How I hate these prosperity preachers that try to tell you that a life of faith is a cake walk. It isn't. In spite of that, it's glorious and wonderful. It's easier to just quote what I said at 4am. "I wake up at night worrying and have to keep submitting. And there are so many other things going on. My analogy for me is like Peter walking to Jesus in the water. I keep wanting to look down and I know the waves are high and the sea is full of dark things lurking — so it is this bizarre paradox of rest in effort to keep my eyes on Christ."
The Lord gave me an illustration of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego heading into the fire furnace. They *would* not submit to bowing down to Nebuchadnezzar's image -- so they stepped into a room of flame. I'm sure they hoped He would deliver them before their feet touched the floor of that fiery inferno, but He didn't. It's not that these three men were brave - they just know Who they believed in. They kept their eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith. And that made me think of all the analogies of us as clay in the Potter's hand. What's the final step in finishing a piece of pottery? The beautiful glaze that seals it, waterproofing it, and giving it beauty. In order to be finished, that clay pot has to go INTO THE KILN.
I have so very much more I want to write about this...next time. Just imagine how beautiful you will be when the firing is over and the Master takes you out of the kiln...take joy in the purpose. What kind of clay pot will you be?
Last night I had also watched a movie about the life of Rich Mullins, Ragamuffin. In it there was a quote from Brennan Manning that hit me hard: "The Lord Jesus is going to ask each of us one question and only one question: Do you believe that I loved you? That I desired you? That I waited for you day after day? That I longed to hear the sound of your voice?" As the dialogue went back and forth, my friend mentioned what she perceives as my optimism and bravery...and its not that at all. I wake up and cry. I shout out, I tremble in fear. I wonder what the heck His plan is and what tomorrow will bring. Through it all: I just believe that He loves. I *know* Whom I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him against that day (2 Tim 1:12) I have to follow. I'm compelled. That furnace maw is gaping and I see the flames rising high inside -- but I see Him telling me "Walk, I'm with you. It will be alright." So I walk. I try to love. I stumble and He picks me up. How I hate these prosperity preachers that try to tell you that a life of faith is a cake walk. It isn't. In spite of that, it's glorious and wonderful. It's easier to just quote what I said at 4am. "I wake up at night worrying and have to keep submitting. And there are so many other things going on. My analogy for me is like Peter walking to Jesus in the water. I keep wanting to look down and I know the waves are high and the sea is full of dark things lurking — so it is this bizarre paradox of rest in effort to keep my eyes on Christ."
The Lord gave me an illustration of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego heading into the fire furnace. They *would* not submit to bowing down to Nebuchadnezzar's image -- so they stepped into a room of flame. I'm sure they hoped He would deliver them before their feet touched the floor of that fiery inferno, but He didn't. It's not that these three men were brave - they just know Who they believed in. They kept their eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith. And that made me think of all the analogies of us as clay in the Potter's hand. What's the final step in finishing a piece of pottery? The beautiful glaze that seals it, waterproofing it, and giving it beauty. In order to be finished, that clay pot has to go INTO THE KILN.
I have so very much more I want to write about this...next time. Just imagine how beautiful you will be when the firing is over and the Master takes you out of the kiln...take joy in the purpose. What kind of clay pot will you be?
Friday, December 21, 2018
Taste and see...
How do you describe the taste of chocolate to someone who has never once felt its wonder on his tongue? Sacramento Bee food critic Chris Macias stated, "Sensitivity to taste is as unique as a fingerprint." Not everyone can taste phenylthiocarbamide (PTC). If you have the right genetic make up, PTC tastes bitter to you. If you do not have it, PTC is virtually tasteless. Studies indicate that up to 70% of tasters have bitter-blindness. Try as you might, you will not be able to describe to them those who lack the alleles responsible for perceiving these tastes. Besides non-tasters, there are also supertasters who are highly sensitive and your more average taste buds. When I was very ill with Graves' disease, I had to take a positively nasty drug called propylthiouracil. It was a tiny pill but just a moment in my mouth waiting for water to flush it down was terrible to endure. Dr. Linda Bartoshuk, who is a professor at the University of Florida, discovered that while about 25% of the population is extremely sensitive to the taste of this chemical, an equal portion (25-30%) cannot taste it. This means that there are about 45-50% who can taste it but it isn't as offensive to their tongue.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him." Psalm 34:8 (NIV) Those of us who know the Lord can vouch that this is indeed true. However, there are those who cannot "taste" His presence. Without rebirth in Christ, you can describe your experience as simply or grandly, with all the passion and fire you can muster, or in a cool, calm, logical fashion and still you will not be able to convince them that this "taste" is possible because to them the Lord is just a myth. Along with not persuading them, you will also likely get scoffed at for believing in a fairy tale. In debating with atheists, what I discovered is that there is a strong aversion to the mere thought that you, Christian, believe yourself to have something, some special knowledge, that they do not have. That aversion may evolve into outright anger if they also develop an idea that the values for which you stand, thanks to what they believe is your mythical deity, are in opposition to attitude and life choices they hold.
Their lack of "taste" for the Lord is similar to the genetics of non-tasters. Of course, this would horrify and outrage an atheist to hear it, but just because they cannot comprehend the Godhead, does not mean that He does not exist and that we are not daily experiencing His presence. Yes, this is frustrating. It is frustrating for them - to whom we look childish or crazy - and to us, who so long for them to see, feel and KNOW what is absolutely real to us.
That said, what do you do? Do you engage in heated debates? Do you walk away? Atheism isn't a matter of the "head," it is a matter of the heart. Arrogance (which they will tend to accuse you of anyway for daring to believe faith is not unscientific), anger, and insult aren't productive. Rational superiority isn't going to win the day or even just the argument. Certainly not the soul. This doesn't mean don't plant seed. Give the reasons for the faith that you have. Be patient. Be kind. If you genuinely care, you must share the gospel. Hammering and pounding don't make seeds grow. God does. Plant or water, whichever job God has chosen you for and then continue to be salt and light.
Salt gives even tasteless things flavor. Here's an interesting tidbit about salt: salt ions hone in on bitter compounds, suppressing them while enhancing sweetness. Chemical wizardry happens when you use salt: salt dispels bitterness, intensifies sweetness. When our Lord told us to be "salt" in this world, He was telling us to use this ability to diminish that bitter and bring out the sweet. Matthew 5:13 tells us that we are the salt of the earth. We need to go be salty today...the right way.
Hebrews 6:4-5 (NIV) For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come,
1 Peter 2:3
if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.
Psalm 119:103
How sweet are Your words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
Jeremiah 15:16
Your words were found and I ate them, And Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; For I have been called by Your name, O LORD God of hosts.
Ezekiel 3:3
He said to me, "Son of man, feed your stomach and fill your body with this scroll which I am giving you " Then I ate it, and it was sweet as honey in my mouth.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him." Psalm 34:8 (NIV) Those of us who know the Lord can vouch that this is indeed true. However, there are those who cannot "taste" His presence. Without rebirth in Christ, you can describe your experience as simply or grandly, with all the passion and fire you can muster, or in a cool, calm, logical fashion and still you will not be able to convince them that this "taste" is possible because to them the Lord is just a myth. Along with not persuading them, you will also likely get scoffed at for believing in a fairy tale. In debating with atheists, what I discovered is that there is a strong aversion to the mere thought that you, Christian, believe yourself to have something, some special knowledge, that they do not have. That aversion may evolve into outright anger if they also develop an idea that the values for which you stand, thanks to what they believe is your mythical deity, are in opposition to attitude and life choices they hold.
Their lack of "taste" for the Lord is similar to the genetics of non-tasters. Of course, this would horrify and outrage an atheist to hear it, but just because they cannot comprehend the Godhead, does not mean that He does not exist and that we are not daily experiencing His presence. Yes, this is frustrating. It is frustrating for them - to whom we look childish or crazy - and to us, who so long for them to see, feel and KNOW what is absolutely real to us.
That said, what do you do? Do you engage in heated debates? Do you walk away? Atheism isn't a matter of the "head," it is a matter of the heart. Arrogance (which they will tend to accuse you of anyway for daring to believe faith is not unscientific), anger, and insult aren't productive. Rational superiority isn't going to win the day or even just the argument. Certainly not the soul. This doesn't mean don't plant seed. Give the reasons for the faith that you have. Be patient. Be kind. If you genuinely care, you must share the gospel. Hammering and pounding don't make seeds grow. God does. Plant or water, whichever job God has chosen you for and then continue to be salt and light.
Salt gives even tasteless things flavor. Here's an interesting tidbit about salt: salt ions hone in on bitter compounds, suppressing them while enhancing sweetness. Chemical wizardry happens when you use salt: salt dispels bitterness, intensifies sweetness. When our Lord told us to be "salt" in this world, He was telling us to use this ability to diminish that bitter and bring out the sweet. Matthew 5:13 tells us that we are the salt of the earth. We need to go be salty today...the right way.
Hebrews 6:4-5 (NIV) For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come,
1 Peter 2:3
if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.
Psalm 119:103
How sweet are Your words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
Jeremiah 15:16
Your words were found and I ate them, And Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; For I have been called by Your name, O LORD God of hosts.
Ezekiel 3:3
He said to me, "Son of man, feed your stomach and fill your body with this scroll which I am giving you " Then I ate it, and it was sweet as honey in my mouth.
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
My father was a big man...
My father was a big man
Strength in size
Strength in words
His love wrapped around me
I felt safe with the sound
Of his voice
In my life
My husband, too, was a big man
Steadfast as a rock
Steadfast in his heart
his love wrapped around me
I felt safe with the rhythm
Of his heartbeat
In my life
These are silent now
The words I need to hear don't sound
The beat of that heart has stopped
Safety is a memory
Love is a blanket that is lost
Strength in size
Strength in words
His love wrapped around me
I felt safe with the sound
Of his voice
In my life
My husband, too, was a big man
Steadfast as a rock
Steadfast in his heart
his love wrapped around me
I felt safe with the rhythm
Of his heartbeat
In my life
These are silent now
The words I need to hear don't sound
The beat of that heart has stopped
Safety is a memory
Love is a blanket that is lost
Not a tragic figure...
She didn't want
To cut a tragic figure
To have dark, care worn eyes
And a silhouette that
Spoke of sorrow
She wanted to be
Strong, brave, fearless
The one with the dancing heart
Twirling in the breeze
Curls flying
Even singing
What she didn't want
Was creeping upon her
And she fought hard
To sing, to dance
To stand firm
Against the shadows that crept
After her, swallowing
Her joy in
Big, greedy gulps
To cut a tragic figure
To have dark, care worn eyes
And a silhouette that
Spoke of sorrow
She wanted to be
Strong, brave, fearless
The one with the dancing heart
Twirling in the breeze
Curls flying
Even singing
What she didn't want
Was creeping upon her
And she fought hard
To sing, to dance
To stand firm
Against the shadows that crept
After her, swallowing
Her joy in
Big, greedy gulps
His lips were broken...
His lips were broken
Oh perhaps they moved
They kissed
They chewed
Sounds escaped
Formed into words
Words of no depth
Of heart
The lover's cord
Was disconnected
And short-circuited
So heart to mind to lips
The circuit was cut
Could it be
Spliced?
Rerouted?
She didn't know
But words feed her soul
And her soul was feeling faint
She tried the nourishment offered
Penetrating gaze
Acts of service
A hand held
She swallowed hard, appreciation
Like a liquid seeking to
Fill the empty silence
The need, the craving
Ached and burned
Hunger hurt
Growling in the
Silence, patience
While technical support looks into
The matter
Is there even a port for her to connect?
She wonders
And the world feels flat
And she feels flat
And dull and lifeless
And the air she needs to be filled
Is denied her
His lips are broken
So is she
8/31/18
Oh perhaps they moved
They kissed
They chewed
Sounds escaped
Formed into words
Words of no depth
Of heart
The lover's cord
Was disconnected
And short-circuited
So heart to mind to lips
The circuit was cut
Could it be
Spliced?
Rerouted?
She didn't know
But words feed her soul
And her soul was feeling faint
She tried the nourishment offered
Penetrating gaze
Acts of service
A hand held
She swallowed hard, appreciation
Like a liquid seeking to
Fill the empty silence
The need, the craving
Ached and burned
Hunger hurt
Growling in the
Silence, patience
While technical support looks into
The matter
Is there even a port for her to connect?
She wonders
And the world feels flat
And she feels flat
And dull and lifeless
And the air she needs to be filled
Is denied her
His lips are broken
So is she
8/31/18
Jump
Jump
Don't just stand there
leap
Dance
Let your heart speak
Don't continuously muffle
Its cries and shouts
Let it acknowledge
Ungagged
Joys and sorrows
Hopes
Possibilities
Stand there on that ledge
Frozen
And you lose
you lose
You never know
That moment of flight
...or anything else
But your own fear and
Your reluctance
To feel
10/25/18
Don't just stand there
leap
Dance
Let your heart speak
Don't continuously muffle
Its cries and shouts
Let it acknowledge
Ungagged
Joys and sorrows
Hopes
Possibilities
Stand there on that ledge
Frozen
And you lose
you lose
You never know
That moment of flight
...or anything else
But your own fear and
Your reluctance
To feel
10/25/18
Let's be humans together...
Let's be humans together
We will make mistakes
Fall
And skin our knees
Lose things
And find them
Say stupid things
And cry
Try to take it all back
Let's be humans, you and I
And not expect perfection
Or salvation
From each other
So we'll forgive
Let's make love
Hold hands
Kiss under stars or roofs or blankets
Face the big unknown together
Be my human, I'll be yours
Let's be human together
10/28/18
We will make mistakes
Fall
And skin our knees
Lose things
And find them
Say stupid things
And cry
Try to take it all back
Let's be humans, you and I
And not expect perfection
Or salvation
From each other
So we'll forgive
Let's make love
Hold hands
Kiss under stars or roofs or blankets
Face the big unknown together
Be my human, I'll be yours
Let's be human together
10/28/18
Assorted poems and pieces of poems...
There are true things
We know them to be true
But we learn the art
Of careful acknowledgement
In ways that don't pierce or grate
----
Some hearts
only open so much
Fixed volume
Limited capacity
Rigidity
Cracking, breaking
No ability or desire to expand
Boundaries clearly defined
There are other hearts
That know no such finite plane
Stretching, conforming
Open wide to accept
To accomodate
And even to pour out
When broken, they bleed
Wounds flow with pain and loss
But that love, life's blood
That ache, only serves
To extend, expand their borders
Blur the bounds
Unclosed
Unobstructed
---
It was in the drawer
Over all those
Miscellaneous items
Pens, bills, assorted
This and that
Face down
Not out
not on a dresser, a mantle
Nor even a nightstand in
A spare room
It spoke volumes
About things like
Intention, importance
Recognition and acceptance
The lack thereof
A maybe later
Not now
Lack of commitment
And I believed
Everything it said
12/22/18
----
He holds on
To things from long ago
To old things
Worn things
Things are still beautiful
And useful
With meaning and history
in his eyes
I want to be treasured
And kept
Long past my prime
Meaningful
Beautiful
And loved
------
I was numb
With thoughts of new beginnings
Baseless dreams
That lovers dream
When bodies are yearning
And "just us" high
The whole world seems full
Full of promise, portent
And then feeling creeps back
Tingling in the fingers, toes
Reality creeping up, up
Toward the heart
Toward the head
8/11/18
-------------
Shhhhh, in your eyes I see it
In your touch I feel it
Quiet, now
As we absorb each other
Mold into each other
Gather our hearts together
Joined in a rhythm
That we create
A music of our own
That fits us and only us
No past, no fears
We let them go
As this thing we are becoming
Grows
There will be a time
To shout it out, to say
That I am yours
And you are mine
Until then quietly
We can adore each other
Growing more secure day by day
In what we are building
7/29/18
--------------------
I was your number one
And now you are gone and I'm
Second or third
Or fourth
Or a by word
A nice girl
With a good heart
Valued
But no pretense
Other nouns and ideas
Are esteemed more highly
And aye, there it is
And more's the pity
Take the crumbs
Or not...
We know them to be true
But we learn the art
Of careful acknowledgement
In ways that don't pierce or grate
----
Some hearts
only open so much
Fixed volume
Limited capacity
Rigidity
Cracking, breaking
No ability or desire to expand
Boundaries clearly defined
There are other hearts
That know no such finite plane
Stretching, conforming
Open wide to accept
To accomodate
And even to pour out
When broken, they bleed
Wounds flow with pain and loss
But that love, life's blood
That ache, only serves
To extend, expand their borders
Blur the bounds
Unclosed
Unobstructed
---
It was in the drawer
Over all those
Miscellaneous items
Pens, bills, assorted
This and that
Face down
Not out
not on a dresser, a mantle
Nor even a nightstand in
A spare room
It spoke volumes
About things like
Intention, importance
Recognition and acceptance
The lack thereof
A maybe later
Not now
Lack of commitment
And I believed
Everything it said
12/22/18
----
He holds on
To things from long ago
To old things
Worn things
Things are still beautiful
And useful
With meaning and history
in his eyes
I want to be treasured
And kept
Long past my prime
Meaningful
Beautiful
And loved
------
I was numb
With thoughts of new beginnings
Baseless dreams
That lovers dream
When bodies are yearning
And "just us" high
The whole world seems full
Full of promise, portent
And then feeling creeps back
Tingling in the fingers, toes
Reality creeping up, up
Toward the heart
Toward the head
8/11/18
-------------
Shhhhh, in your eyes I see it
In your touch I feel it
Quiet, now
As we absorb each other
Mold into each other
Gather our hearts together
Joined in a rhythm
That we create
A music of our own
That fits us and only us
No past, no fears
We let them go
As this thing we are becoming
Grows
There will be a time
To shout it out, to say
That I am yours
And you are mine
Until then quietly
We can adore each other
Growing more secure day by day
In what we are building
7/29/18
--------------------
I was your number one
And now you are gone and I'm
Second or third
Or fourth
Or a by word
A nice girl
With a good heart
Valued
But no pretense
Other nouns and ideas
Are esteemed more highly
And aye, there it is
And more's the pity
Take the crumbs
Or not...
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