I've been washed in the fountain, cleansed by His blood! Joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod,
For I'm part of the family, The Family of God." It's been my earworm today - and a good one to have. (Better than "Pumped Up Kicks" which kept recirculating in my brain for weeks and weeks). Wrapping up 2018 and heading into 2019, like many others, I found myself with a retrospective eye.
2016 I tend to think of as The Year of Catastrophe. Pat passed in July and my world was officially topsy-turvy. The whole family was dealing with grief in various ways and two new little ones that would never see their Poppy on this earth were born in the midst. Whilst trying to find my footing, I had an adult severely bullying me. However, in the midst of it, I had my church family and I worked at a *fantastic* school with tremendous leadership, so every day I could wake up and have a sense of purpose. 2017 was a Year of Change/Risk. Financially, I needed to find stability - so I took a risk, took a leap of faith. Some risks pan out; some don't. There was much good in that year, but I painfully discovered that all that glitters is not gold. I want to call 2018 the Year of False Promise - a nod to my blind optimism that led to the Year of Change/Risk - but I also think of it as the Year God Bails Me Out Again and Again or the Year of Treading Water. However, I guess the most appropriate term would be The Year God Shows Me Again and Again That In Spite of Myself, He Loves Me and Has My Back (and blessed me with an accidental pumpkin patch). Consistent in these three years of feeling shaken like a snow globe, has been the God who contains me -- and the loving friends and church family He has blessed me with. The prayers, the support, the guidance, the opportunities to BE and do - Psalm 68:6a states, "God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing." I can testify to this truth.
Yesterday, I was blessed with the opportunity to go with a dear friend to her ultrasound and see the magic of LIFE. Seeing that little baby was beautiful, simply beautiful. Our God is a life-giver! (We're getting another one in our family this year, too). After I left, I wanted to do something to make the gender reveal more fun for the couple than opening an envelope (I knew the gender, she didn't), so I went to Marc's for ideas. While I was there, a lovely woman I know spotted me and rushed over to hug me; she reminded me of our sisterhood as widows with the tenderness that only another widow who comprehends the frailty of this state can. This was one of those women of faith that I always looked up to; her godly behavior and attitude was an inspiration. Facing widowhood after a long loving marriage, she handled the death of her spouse with such grace and dignity. Here we were in the store and she was glowing with exciting news to share - before Thanksgiving she had gotten remarried. It had been five years since her husband had passed and the Lord had put a godly man in her life. It was evident that he was proud to call her his - I love to see that. That joy, that radiance - again, our God is a life-giver! She and her spouse also gave me some wise advice should marriage be in my future: "Be sure to marry a man that is more spiritual than you." Later that night, I was able to discuss the wisdom of this with yet another member of my spiritual family, sharing concerns and getting/giving feedback.
I have no idea what sort of year 2019 will be. I hope it will be the Year of Feeting Firmly Grounded, Job Security and Stability. Regardless of what I'm thinking/feeling as I sum it up at the end of this year, I know that my God will always be with me and I'm traveling this sod with joint-heirs. Fellow pilgrims and aliens. "When one has a heartache, we all share the tears, And rejoice in each victory in this family so dear."
2019 may be looking at me with a gaping maw or a gentle smile, I do not know. What I *do* know is, He is with me always ... and I'm a part of His family; therefore, I'm not traveling through it alone.
