Growth

 I wrote this back in September as I was contemplating ending a long term relationship with an avoidant. I had been evolving and growing into healthy boundaries for quite sometime. Interesting, but expected, when I grew distant he pulled me towards him. Thing is, I had grown too much. 

You don’t want what I want

And maybe that’s alright 

We walk a while together

And fade off into the night

maybe a light will shine out

A friendly door will open wide

I don’t hate you for

Not wanting to

But I need to step inside

You want to live the lonely 

Baby, that’s your choice

But I’m not one for silence 

I need to hear another voice 

Maybe someone will call out

My name on his lips

I don’t hate you for

Not speaking it

But when it calls, I am his 

I see a porch with rockers 

A sunset, a sunrise 

I see a hope for love

That’s spoken out in pride 

I see a place where my heart

Feels right at home 

You don’t want that

And I’m sorry 

This journey is my own 

Seven years now, that’s a long time 

To never settle down 

I feel like I’ve been lost

Making circles on the ground 

The years they have been flying

But joy can still be found 

I love you and I’m sorry 

I’m turning back towards town 

By and by we’ve walked along 

Somewhere I lost my map  

Let you chose the way 

And you led me

Going nowhere, so fast 

This road is long and empty

You rarely hold my hand 

It looks so bleak and changeless 

And now I understand —that 

Somewhere I laid my dreams down

Somewhere I lost me, too

Left behind in the distance 

So I’m turning myself around 

I’m turning myself around

I’m turning myself around 

So long, so long, so long 

You can go your own way

Honey, I’ll go mine

Thank you for your time, love

Good bye now, good bye