Those who know me well know that I do not like roller coasters. I don't like being propelled at high speeds around hairpin turns nor do I like plunging downward at severe angles. My favorite ride was at Geauga Lake and it was Grizzly River Run. You are in a raft and waves fling you about a little, you get splashed, if you are the unlucky/lucky one to be directly under the waterfall you get drenched. It's not a ride for thrillseekers. It's just FUN without being extreme. I wish life was like that.
Sunday, April 5, 2020
Saturday, March 28, 2020
Tick tock, time marches on
It has been 12 days since I taught my last power yoga class and the last day I had students in the classroom. We spent the rest of the week in school preparing more blizzard bags and trying to figure out what was going to be happening. Friday we found out we'd be working from home.
For a week now, it's been social isolation. Homeschooling my two grandsons, preparing classwork, calling students. The gyms are all closed - no classes to teach. Doing workouts on my own. I'm thanking God that several years ago we bought a couple of spinning bikes; I can still work on my Sprint coaching and hope to one day do the filming.
I'm amazed by the toilet paper hoarding. It's sparked a great number of hilarious memes, so that's something. People are going bananas hoarding stuff. I think about what I've learned about serious events in the past and how everyone shared. Rationed. Not this culture. Hogging, hoarding.
With all of the uncertainty we find ourselves in, I think perhaps the most stressful thing is wondering what other ugliness will be revealed about our cultural condition.
For a week now, it's been social isolation. Homeschooling my two grandsons, preparing classwork, calling students. The gyms are all closed - no classes to teach. Doing workouts on my own. I'm thanking God that several years ago we bought a couple of spinning bikes; I can still work on my Sprint coaching and hope to one day do the filming.
I'm amazed by the toilet paper hoarding. It's sparked a great number of hilarious memes, so that's something. People are going bananas hoarding stuff. I think about what I've learned about serious events in the past and how everyone shared. Rationed. Not this culture. Hogging, hoarding.
With all of the uncertainty we find ourselves in, I think perhaps the most stressful thing is wondering what other ugliness will be revealed about our cultural condition.
Neither shall any plague come near thy dwelling...
Here we are in the midst of a crisis that we haven't seen in our life time. I was a child during the 1973 Oil Crisis. I only have the vaguest of memories of gas lines and people getting gas based on odd or even numbered license plates. I was a young mother during 9/11. Neither of these events affected "life as we know it" the way the coronavirus is.
Last night I taught my last power yoga class until further notice. I was the last class taught before that fitness center closed. Yes, people came. We distanced ourselves properly...and it was wonderful. My theme for the class was anxiety. As we flowed through wonderful poses, we focused on strength in peace, strength in breath, strength in calmness of mind, strength to maintain balance and to be flexible no matter what life throws our way. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind.
Prior to this I had spent the day at school. School was open but only two students in my class showed up. The day was occupied by making two more blizzard bags. I had already made the first one on Friday. We staggered copier time so that every teacher would get a fair chance to get this task done. I had spent a great deal of time on the weekend seeking out materials that would be educational, but not over reach. The fear is that many children won't bother to complete the assignments. Three weeks worth were made but the word from our governor is that schools may be closed for the rest of the school year. Normal may not return until July or August.
**I actually began writing this on 3/17. Today is 3/28. Things have continued to get weird.
Last night I taught my last power yoga class until further notice. I was the last class taught before that fitness center closed. Yes, people came. We distanced ourselves properly...and it was wonderful. My theme for the class was anxiety. As we flowed through wonderful poses, we focused on strength in peace, strength in breath, strength in calmness of mind, strength to maintain balance and to be flexible no matter what life throws our way. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind.
Prior to this I had spent the day at school. School was open but only two students in my class showed up. The day was occupied by making two more blizzard bags. I had already made the first one on Friday. We staggered copier time so that every teacher would get a fair chance to get this task done. I had spent a great deal of time on the weekend seeking out materials that would be educational, but not over reach. The fear is that many children won't bother to complete the assignments. Three weeks worth were made but the word from our governor is that schools may be closed for the rest of the school year. Normal may not return until July or August.
**I actually began writing this on 3/17. Today is 3/28. Things have continued to get weird.
Saturday, February 8, 2020
The law of club and fang
Life. It is a beautiful and terrible thing. Oftentimes you find that the terrible comes when you aren't guarded, when you trust too much in the wrong things, the wrong people. We are given a principle in Psalm 118:8, "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." More up close, we are told to beware of the people that are close that we feel we should trust. Jeremiah 9:4 "Let everyone be on guard against his neighbor, And do not trust any brother; Because every brother deals craftily, And every neighbor goes about as a slanderer." (But don't forget Proverbs 27:6, "faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy"). In Jack London's The Call of the Wild, the burly St. Bernard-mix Buck is stolen from his pampered life as a beloved family dog in California and sold into a hellish existence of violence and servitude in the northern continent during the Klondike Gold Rush. He went from a land of civilization - even his interactions with other dogs had its moral codes - to a life where kindness, courtesy, and fair-play were non-existent. He was kidnapped because his dealings with men prior to that event were always good; he was finessed by the gardener's apprentice. He had built a naive belief that humans were to be trusted; he found out otherwise as he was sold and exposed to never-before-known-to-him violence.
"Here was neither peace, nor rest, nor a moment's safety. All was confusion and action, and every moment life and limb were in peril. There was imperative need to be constantly alert; for these dogs and men were not town dogs and men. They were savages, all of them, who knew no law but the law of club and fang."
Buck found himself beaten into compliance (but never submission!) by the man in the red sweater. He watched in horror as friendly Curly approaches a husky in a amiable way and has her face ripped open. As she responds to the attack, a pack of dogs surrounds her and takes her down. Buck never forgets her savage end, nor Spitz seeming to laugh at her demise. He cements his will against ever letting himself go down in a fight. Cruelty and violence have replaced fair play; he must adapt or meet a similar end.
"He had learned well the law of club and fang, and he never forewent an advantage or drew back from a foe he had started on the way to Death. He had lessoned from Spitz, and from the chief fighting dogs of the police and mail, and knew there was no middle course. He must master or be mastered; while to show mercy was a weakness. mercy did not exist in the primordial life. It was misunderstood for fear, and such misunderstandings made for death. Kill or be killed, eat or be eaten, was the law; and this mandate, down out of the depths of Time, he obeyed."
My tendency is to trust. To believe that deep down, people mean well. For years I had been in a rather insular life - homeschooling, homeschool groups, church, working with children in rec league. Here and there, I ran into an occasional bad apple, but for the most part I dealt with honest, moral, empathetic people. When I finished my degree and hit the work force when Erin was in high school, I discovered a different, wilder sort of world - but still manageable. After all, I had a safe haven in Pat to come home to. However, when Pat passed away 3 1/2 years ago, I began to discover the law of the club and fang in earnest.
My students have taught me the pop culture understanding of being "finessed." They don't want anyone "finessing" them - saying one thing, doing another or manipulating them. When you trust people to be honorable, to have good moral standards, to be ethical - it is easy to be finessed. Buck was finessed into taking a walk with Manual and wound up sold, beaten and dragged a thousand miles away. Buck was also finessed by a dog who appeared friendly but would snatch his dinner in a heartbeat. Most of us have met people who will lie, slander, whatever it takes to get ahead, to achieve preeminence.
The more I become acquainted with the law of the club and fang, I find that I get a deeper understanding of Kipling's "If--" The more I deal with its workings in the world, the clearer it becomes that it is at work in our own realms. I remember my father saying repeatedly that it is a "Dog eat dog" world. Since it is my father who introduced me to Jack London, this might be why the law of the club and fang strikes me so deeply. It would be easy, I think, to decide to play as dirty as you are played - but I believe there is a loving Father who would be saddened and shamed by that behavior. I know I've mentioned before how I clung to the "Filling the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run" line for years... Now other verses have been becoming more clear.
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise
My hope is to be able to be on guard like Buck without the need to resort to the cunning he use in snatching an extra morsel when the opportunity arose. It should always be in the goal to never be part of the pack that rips apart the fallen. It could be that finding your "pack," is the best way to operate in this dog-eat-dog world. Sadly, although Buck found trust and love with John Thornton, Skeet and Nig, the primitive never left him. This goes unfinished as a ponder the hows and whys of rising above after having been nipped by the fang and beat by the club.
*A side note: Kipling and London were contemporaries. While there seems to be such disparity in their inspirations, both witnessed the law of club and fang. Kipling and his sister endured the torment and terror of childhood abuse in the hands of Mrs. Holloway who boarded them while their parents were in India. "Often and often afterwards, the beloved Aunt would ask me why I had never told any one how I was being treated. Children tell little more than animals, for what comes to them they accept as eternally established. Also, badly-treated children have a clear notion of what they are likely to get if they betray the secrets of a prison-house before they are clear of it."
"Here was neither peace, nor rest, nor a moment's safety. All was confusion and action, and every moment life and limb were in peril. There was imperative need to be constantly alert; for these dogs and men were not town dogs and men. They were savages, all of them, who knew no law but the law of club and fang."
Buck found himself beaten into compliance (but never submission!) by the man in the red sweater. He watched in horror as friendly Curly approaches a husky in a amiable way and has her face ripped open. As she responds to the attack, a pack of dogs surrounds her and takes her down. Buck never forgets her savage end, nor Spitz seeming to laugh at her demise. He cements his will against ever letting himself go down in a fight. Cruelty and violence have replaced fair play; he must adapt or meet a similar end.
"He had learned well the law of club and fang, and he never forewent an advantage or drew back from a foe he had started on the way to Death. He had lessoned from Spitz, and from the chief fighting dogs of the police and mail, and knew there was no middle course. He must master or be mastered; while to show mercy was a weakness. mercy did not exist in the primordial life. It was misunderstood for fear, and such misunderstandings made for death. Kill or be killed, eat or be eaten, was the law; and this mandate, down out of the depths of Time, he obeyed."
My tendency is to trust. To believe that deep down, people mean well. For years I had been in a rather insular life - homeschooling, homeschool groups, church, working with children in rec league. Here and there, I ran into an occasional bad apple, but for the most part I dealt with honest, moral, empathetic people. When I finished my degree and hit the work force when Erin was in high school, I discovered a different, wilder sort of world - but still manageable. After all, I had a safe haven in Pat to come home to. However, when Pat passed away 3 1/2 years ago, I began to discover the law of the club and fang in earnest.
My students have taught me the pop culture understanding of being "finessed." They don't want anyone "finessing" them - saying one thing, doing another or manipulating them. When you trust people to be honorable, to have good moral standards, to be ethical - it is easy to be finessed. Buck was finessed into taking a walk with Manual and wound up sold, beaten and dragged a thousand miles away. Buck was also finessed by a dog who appeared friendly but would snatch his dinner in a heartbeat. Most of us have met people who will lie, slander, whatever it takes to get ahead, to achieve preeminence.
The more I become acquainted with the law of the club and fang, I find that I get a deeper understanding of Kipling's "If--" The more I deal with its workings in the world, the clearer it becomes that it is at work in our own realms. I remember my father saying repeatedly that it is a "Dog eat dog" world. Since it is my father who introduced me to Jack London, this might be why the law of the club and fang strikes me so deeply. It would be easy, I think, to decide to play as dirty as you are played - but I believe there is a loving Father who would be saddened and shamed by that behavior. I know I've mentioned before how I clung to the "Filling the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run" line for years... Now other verses have been becoming more clear.
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise
My hope is to be able to be on guard like Buck without the need to resort to the cunning he use in snatching an extra morsel when the opportunity arose. It should always be in the goal to never be part of the pack that rips apart the fallen. It could be that finding your "pack," is the best way to operate in this dog-eat-dog world. Sadly, although Buck found trust and love with John Thornton, Skeet and Nig, the primitive never left him. This goes unfinished as a ponder the hows and whys of rising above after having been nipped by the fang and beat by the club.
*A side note: Kipling and London were contemporaries. While there seems to be such disparity in their inspirations, both witnessed the law of club and fang. Kipling and his sister endured the torment and terror of childhood abuse in the hands of Mrs. Holloway who boarded them while their parents were in India. "Often and often afterwards, the beloved Aunt would ask me why I had never told any one how I was being treated. Children tell little more than animals, for what comes to them they accept as eternally established. Also, badly-treated children have a clear notion of what they are likely to get if they betray the secrets of a prison-house before they are clear of it."
Wednesday, December 25, 2019
What the Dickens!
It is Christmas Day and it is the first Christmas since Pat passed away that I was not sad when I woke up. When my eyes opened this morning, my heart awoke with gratitude and joy. Home was occupied by just me, my two dogs, and my cat - yet I did not feel lonely at all. My spirit was not weighed down with a melancholy aching for Christmases past. The specters of fear and worry were nowhere in sight. Just a pure joy for the day and the Lord who made it.
The past few weeks have been hectic with this fortnight being particularly exhausting. It would be the first Dec 24th that I had to work. There was very little time between work and church - then I needed to get to the family gathering. The week before it even happened, I was worn out just thinking about it. But then, I watched A Muppet Christmas Carol with my students. I've seen this many, many times. I've seen many versions of A Christmas Carol more times than I could count. Yet once again, even this more playful version spoke to me.
In Dickens' book, Marley’s ghost says to Scrooge ‘’No space of regret can make amends for one life’s opportunity misused.’’ I began to look at working on the 24th as an opportunity. Not only did I get a lot done, but I played cornhole with the kids, enjoyed time with my fellow teachers, and had a great day.
On Sunday, my tearful prayer and the Lord's nudge to change my focus was rewarded with the beauty of His Light. He is the Light of the world - and as Michael Card sang, how can there be in darkness in me if He is that Light? He abides in me and I in Him. Let that Light shine! When I taught my yoga class on Monday night, my theme was joy - and indeed, the joy of the Lord is my strength.
I also realized that grief had me dwelling to much in the past on special days. I was burdened by old, beloved traditions that were not, could not be the same. It was like the weight of a heavy stone dragging my heart down. But in a Christmas Carol, Scrooge learns and says, “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me.’’ The past is only part of the equation of my life; it is to be looked at and learned from. It is not a place to wallow.
When I awoke this morning, it wasn't about me waking up alone; it wasn't about emptiness or the bustle of preparations... it was about the Good News. Jesus Christ came that we might have life and have it more abundantly! John 1:4, "In Him was life, and that Light was the life of men." --And that waking up alone nonsense, I never felt less alone. Thus, I moved on through a day of laughter and love. Merry Christmas - regarding the born-again Scrooge - “And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us!’’
The past few weeks have been hectic with this fortnight being particularly exhausting. It would be the first Dec 24th that I had to work. There was very little time between work and church - then I needed to get to the family gathering. The week before it even happened, I was worn out just thinking about it. But then, I watched A Muppet Christmas Carol with my students. I've seen this many, many times. I've seen many versions of A Christmas Carol more times than I could count. Yet once again, even this more playful version spoke to me.
In Dickens' book, Marley’s ghost says to Scrooge ‘’No space of regret can make amends for one life’s opportunity misused.’’ I began to look at working on the 24th as an opportunity. Not only did I get a lot done, but I played cornhole with the kids, enjoyed time with my fellow teachers, and had a great day.
On Sunday, my tearful prayer and the Lord's nudge to change my focus was rewarded with the beauty of His Light. He is the Light of the world - and as Michael Card sang, how can there be in darkness in me if He is that Light? He abides in me and I in Him. Let that Light shine! When I taught my yoga class on Monday night, my theme was joy - and indeed, the joy of the Lord is my strength.
I also realized that grief had me dwelling to much in the past on special days. I was burdened by old, beloved traditions that were not, could not be the same. It was like the weight of a heavy stone dragging my heart down. But in a Christmas Carol, Scrooge learns and says, “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me.’’ The past is only part of the equation of my life; it is to be looked at and learned from. It is not a place to wallow.
When I awoke this morning, it wasn't about me waking up alone; it wasn't about emptiness or the bustle of preparations... it was about the Good News. Jesus Christ came that we might have life and have it more abundantly! John 1:4, "In Him was life, and that Light was the life of men." --And that waking up alone nonsense, I never felt less alone. Thus, I moved on through a day of laughter and love. Merry Christmas - regarding the born-again Scrooge - “And it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us!’’
Friday, December 6, 2019
Facing anti-intellectualism? Don't apologize for being smart!
“By this method thousands of humans have been brought to think that humility means pretty women trying to believe they are ugly and clever men trying to believe they are fools. And since what they are trying to believe may, in some cases, be manifest nonsense, they cannot succeed in believing it and we have the chance of keeping their minds endlessly revolving on themselves in an effort to achieve the the impossible.” C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
I'm done apologizing for being smart. Why is it that if you are intelligent you constantly feel you have to dumb yourself down to be accepted by peers? Why is it that people are offended just because you know things? And why does knowing things get dismissed so readily with the insult that you are a know-it-all?
There is no crime in knowing many things. There is no need to pretend that you don't know many things. Chances are that if you know many things it happens that you are also very aware of the many things you do not know. Quite possibly you will seek to know some of those things, too, because you are born with a deep-seated curiosity. There is a universe of things to know and there is zero fault in acquiring what you can.
There is also nothing wrong with sharing what you know, this, in spite, of the fact that there will be people who are intimidated by your brain power. If you have answers or input that conflicts with what they believe to be, you can expect to be considered arrogant - no matter how innocently you deliver your knowledge. SO BE IT.
I read a thread on Quora where a parent asked, "My 8 year old son has a 150 IQ, what should I do?" Someone answered to this effect, "Either coach him to dumb himself down so that he can be socially accepted OR allow him to think, dream, dare to use his gifts." The first option is indeed a sad truth that many gifted folk feel is their best option in order to function within society. Guess why? Because if you act smart, talk smart, daresay admit you are smart, you are perceived as a conceited braggart without ever even bragging. Just by being. Yes, just by being.
I remember being a teenager and being mortally embarrassed by the fact that I was in MENSA. I felt fearful that I would be made fun of, that it was a symptom of abnormality, or even something to be looked upon with as much disgust as if being accused of being a Nazi. We live in a sick world when something such as being born intellectually gifted isn't treated like a gift - while being gifted athletically is coveted. It took a long time to get away from those fears - many years in fact.
In the past year I've met some brilliant teens who felt misunderstood and had all those same fears thanks to a society that dislikes smart people. Whenever I meet a student like this, I do my best to encourage the thinking, the dreaming, the daring to use and appreciate the gift of brain power. I can't tell them that the stigma of high intelligence will go away, but I can tell them that just as "lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep," they should not lose sleep over the insults or aversions of those who are intimidated by their gifts and seek to shame them for "knowing many things."
As for me, I'm 56 years old and I'm done being concerned with how my gift is perceived. God gave it to me and hopefully, I use it to glorify him. My daughters are highly intelligent. I see it in my grandchildren. My prayer is that they never, ever feel ashamed because of their hunger for knowledge and their ability to use it. As C.S. Lewis said, it is NOT humility to disavow the brains God gave you. SHINE.
Sunday, June 9, 2019
When all blessings flow...
Praising God from Whom all blessings flow! It has been a long, rough 2 years and 11 months since Pat passed away. I've had lots of experiences that have not always seemed like blessings but, surprise! They were. Life is an intricate tapestry - you may not like mustard yellow thread, but once you stand back and see the beauty of the pattern, you realize that without the mustard yellow, it wouldn't be complete. I have to say that I don't know what else might be part of the design BUT right now I'm feeling the "WHEW!" and "WOW!" happy side of blessing. I have a GOOD job with a pay that will meet all of my needs and (can I say, FINALLY!) I have insurance again!
The job I've been chosen for is going to be challenging, but I'm trusting that the Lord will equip me. My co-workers are amazing - the vibe you get there is one of caring, one of empathy, one of team work and collaboration. Security and safety are the top priorities and with these prevailing you can strive to do your best.
The job I've been chosen for is going to be challenging, but I'm trusting that the Lord will equip me. My co-workers are amazing - the vibe you get there is one of caring, one of empathy, one of team work and collaboration. Security and safety are the top priorities and with these prevailing you can strive to do your best.
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