Jesus speaks of giving us peace that passes all understanding. Of peace like river. Peace utterly different than what the world gives. I had been striving for peace, seeking it desperately - what a paradox. I was doing everything I thought I could do to attain peace. Looking for the right job, the right relationship. Prayer. Meditation. Even in the depths of my grief and uphill travels, I did find rest in one thing - God's love. He is love, His disciples are known by it, we live and move and having our being in Him and again, He is love. Therefore, it mystified me when coming from my church, more evident was fear and hatred.
Going through the Pandemic and the events of January 6th, I felt nothing but shame and disgust at the evangelical church I had been a part of for so many years. The veil was lifted and I could finally see the self-centered "gospel" that was being preached. It was all about the "personal" situation - the ticket to heaven, fellowshipping with the "right" church group, gatekeeping to shut all others out. Rev. Ben Cremer wrote, "I'm not sure we Christians realize how fragile we make the gospel of Jesus look when we act as though it is threatened by every cultural and political shift." I was blind and then I saw.
I was at Alistair Begg's church one evening in Solon when churches had in-person services again, when he didn't open the Bible at all but railed against CRT and the "LGBQT Agenda." Hearing him waste time on how this was destroying us and we had to stand up against us made me immediately wonder - how small our god must be! My local church had already blown my mind with the pastor's wife, a worship leader, a deaconess and others sharing abject mockery of Joe Biden (what happened to love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you, letting the law of kindness be on your tongue?); this was explained to me as "standing up for truth." A long conversation with the worship leader involved her insisting on the holiness of God and His wrath - all in defense of what she was sharing. She was quite certain the pastor approved. After my own dealings with him (and seeing the fear-mongering his wife shared), I'm inclined to believe he did think what she was doing was perfectly fine. What a small god! It's obvious now why there was no peace to be found in that fellowship. They quaked in fear of personal liberties being "stolen" and were sold on the Big Lie, aka the supposedly stolen election. No trust in God - none. The great big Lord of the Universe was apparently not that big and strong at all because they not only were in fear, but felt there was a divine calling to share that fear with everyone And it wasn't just fear, it was the mockery and hatred that was disconcerting.
It's all done under the guise of "rooting out sin." In conversation with a worship leader from my former church, she excused mocking Joe Biden and exalting Donald Trump, with diatribes about how God was HOLY! HOLY! HOLY! and we had to speak out about sin, we had to share TRUTH! She thought she was hard at God's work rooting out sin. She exhibited zero peace and seemed determined to stir up anger/frustration until, I suppose, she converted or encouraged others to call one good and the other bad.
She espoused Reformed Theology and declared the pastor would defend her. Enamored with this theology, it seems that peace is something not to be found in this life. Go into Parkside's library and you will find numerous books regarding the Puritan's Reformed theology. Interestingly, exploration into the last writings of numerous Puritan theologians shows that these men died with anything but peace. Their consciences were tormented lest they not be found to among the elect.
J. Luis Dizon, writing about the failure of Calvinism to provide peace, notes that, "The result of this legalistic tendency is that, for many Calvinists, the Christian life becomes characterized by morbid introspection and overzealous fruit inspection. Sin has to be aggressively rooted out, and any sign of moral laxity becomes an occasion to question one’s election. To put it in the words of the Puritan John Owen, “Be killing sin, or sin will be killing you.” Only those who have displayed sufficient sanctification in their lives can truly be said to be God’s elect."
The fear and unrest that is whipped up is in opposition to the peace and grace that God promises us. And these folks worry about “truth”…
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