Sunday, July 17, 2016

Posts from hell week Part III

When the darkness closes in, still I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be Your glorious Name
You give and take away, my heart will choose to say Blessed be Your Name

I honestly don't know where we would be without the Lord. And I say that with full knowledge that Pat could have died and could still die. We will all die someday. That is neither here nor there in the scheme of things because I know beyond a shadow of doubt exactly where Pat will be should all these efforts be in vain. Faith is not dependent on sunshine & roses, on getting what you think is right. It's about knowing Who is in charge and having confidence in Him. It's knowing Who will hold you up through tears and trials; when our faith is weak, He is there. I can honestly stay He has sustained us through so very much both now and in the past. I can testify He is not some far away God who does not care. We know Who we "have believed in and are persuaded that He is able to keep what we have committed unto Him against that day." 2 Timothy 1:2
Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
And blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name
Every blessing you pour out I'll
Turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, lord
Still i will say
Blessed be the name of the lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the lord
Blessed be your glorious name
Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be you name
And blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name
You give and take away...

-I'm stressed out & the drivers in Warrensville Heights must have gotten on my last nerve. My daughter found my road rage pretty entertaining. Apparently I growl, hiss and very clearly annunciate. Kind of like a Klingon.
-I went home last night to sleep - and to ugly cry, wail and all. My dogs - large dogs - dove on top of me, licking my face, pinning me down. They slept on top of me all night.
-The evil cat barred my way in the hall like a bridge troll. As I attempted to walk past she attacked. Somehow restraint prevented me from taking it all out on her - I hissed back and let her hide.
-In the said town of rude drivers there is an extreme number of hair salons.

His mercies are new every morning. In the midst of this trial, I was offered the job I really felt the Lord wanted me in. I will be teaching sixth grade and get to work with the awesome Julie! Praise God!
I shared my joy with my friend, Rhonda - who blessed me so much this year as a mentor & friend - she shared this with me:
“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” Romans 8:18 ESV

Well no matter who you are and no matter what you've done
There will come a time when you can't make it on your own
And in your hour of desperation
Know you're not the only one
Prayin', "lord above, I need a miracle
I need a miracle"

Thursday morning: Pat is stable in critical condition. The Ecmo machine has been keeping him going & he has responded well to small changes meant to slowly wean him off. Survival rate is 50% & in his favor he is young & showing good response. He has an Impella device helping his left ventricle to work & that has also slowly been adjusted down for his heart to try to work on its own (with favorable response). His lungs sustained damage in the ability to oxygenate blood so now the top focus will be to monitor their ability to start doing their job again. Neurologically, he is making appropriate responses & can weakly wiggle toes , squeeze a hand, when asked when sedation is low. It is a slow process with transplant the remaining alternative should this fail. So keep the prayers coming & praise God for His goodness.
I'm just going to add that this is the start of day 5 not hearing his voice. Since late September 1982, not a day has gone by without talking to him. I'm listening to voicemails which I'm so glad I hadn't cleared.
From Psalm 51: "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me. Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain in me a willing spirit."
Psalm 103:2-4 "Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, Who ransoms your soul from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion."

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