“Certainly we struggle as victims of other people’s unkindness. We have been sinned against. But we cannot excuse our sinful responses to others on the grounds of their mistreatment of us. We are responsible for what we do. We are both strugglers and sinners, victims and agents, people who hurt and people who harm.” ― Larry Crabb, Inside Out
This quote. I'm going through something - I have the hard, physical (digital) evidence in front of me that shows exactly what I'm dealing with, the twisting, the meanness, the graceless, merciless whole enchilada. It vindicates me, but it doesn't matter. I cried a billion tears, as if I'm not in a state where I don't already have enough to cry about. And yet - this is the kind of quote that means something to me. We're all just raggamuffins fussing it out in a scarred and sinful land.
I discussed it with a therapist today, shared the gory details - intact so that my response, unaltered could be judged. Without going into details, I was told that for my own protection during an intensely painful time that I needed to exercise some "tough love" and not be responsive to it. That I was allowing myself to be targeted, that I appeared to be a "servant" and why was I putting myself in that place. I find it very hard to put myself in a different place because of the verses below.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, Matthew 5:43-44
"But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone takes your cloak, do not withhold your tunic as well..." Luke 6:27-28
So how do you "set boundaries" to protect yourself when you feel that it is your duty as a believer to not have boundaries? Is it being a doormat?