Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Of Mice and Men (6.15.07)

There's supposedly a "new" fat gene that's been discovered...Lipin. It's been found in mice, of course. Don't they find everything in mice. Maybe that's because if you've read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, mice created the planet. ;) According to Jon Benson, "Lipin, the new gene on the block, is now reported as the "gene that regulates how the body stores and burns bodyfat." In mice, that is. It's a start. This could mean there is a treatment in the near future. Or this could be another bust...just like leptin."

Leptin, "the great fat hope," was debunked in January 2007, ten years after it was announced and five years everyone thought it was their miracle answer to the fat they had.

So now that they've found lipin in mice, they're going to look for the magic "gene turner-off-er" and some infomercial is going to jump on the bus and start hawking lipin control pills, promising overnight weight-loss WHOOSH. In the long run, it'll probably all turn out to be so much bunk. Tsk, tsk.

I was looking for a new magazine yesterday and noticed that while the Women's Fitness Rx wasn't new, there was a new men's issue. The cover read, "14 Best lifts for killer ABS, BICEPS, TRICEPS, CHEST, SHOULDERS, BACK, QUADS, CALVES"...gee, that about covers everything. I thought, "What the heck?" I'd check it out.

In reading the magazine I discovered a few things. For starters, men are really worried about erectile dysfunction, both inability and lack of staying power. If this magazine is right, you guys really do think with your pants. :)

Some tidbits on that from Men's Fitness RX:

--Smoking damages penile blood vessels (which can make things difficult or impossible). SO DON'T SMOKE!
--There is some anethetic spray to increase staying power for guys with PE, which (WOW!) effects 30% of all men. The spray isn't very user friendly - one of the effects is creating the same sensation down there as you get in your coms following a Novocain shot at the dentist's office. Doesn't sound like fun.
--Lack of exercises makes men go limp. Regular endurance exercise is just as effective as Viagra.
--ED is one of the best predictors of heart attacks and strokes. Exercise, a balanced diet and weight loss are the best defenses.

I loved this one: "Male Sweat Makes Women Hot - Don't cover up your natural body odor with overpowering colognes and aftershaves. Scientists from the University of California, Berkley found that male sweat contains chemicals that trigger sexual arousal and excitement in women. The sweat increases production of the adrenal hormone androstenedione, which triggers physiological and psychological changes in women." WELL, DUH! We could've told you we can't stand it when you're overpowering us with your cologne! Also, your celery, as I mentioned before, it contains androstenedione and if you work up a good sweat after eating it, you'll pump out more pheromones. :)

Another great one was a piece that warned about wearing the stylishly baggy pants during yoga class. It said, "When in yoga class, flashing the woman next to you in down-dog should not happen." Advice was included on proper yoga-wear. Thank you, Men's Fitness Rx! I have been flashed and it's not often a pretty sight.

What cracked me up the most was an article about "Better Sex: The Roadmap to the Big O" -- are you guys still in the dark ages? There was all kinds of Victorian propoganda malarkey in there. "Women need 20 - 30 minutes to become aroused." Science as disproved that, you nerds! Omigosh, then there was so much absolute silly crap and nonsense, I cannot even go into here. Suffice it to say, I was totally laughing my *ss off.

This magazine was hysterically funny - and I feel that it was written at a very dumbed down level. Guys, you'd be better off reading Muscle & Fitness or Flex. I was also VERY disappointed... those 14 Best Lifts - well, they were nothing new, nothing amazing or earth-shattering.

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